Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Day 941 - Belly Button Birthday

Interesting day today. I got phone calls and e mails from all of my acquaintances OUTSIDE of Gamblers Anonymous. This is somewhat unusual as most of my daily contact these days usually revolves around work or GA.

But, today was different. Today is my Biological birthday. So, my ex called, the kids called, brothers and all wished me well. But only a few of the people I spend so much time with these days called or wrote.

Why no GA contact? Because of the anonymity of the program. Even though I spent over 20 hours a week with people I have met in GA , not counting meetings, many people still don't know my last name? Or when my birthday is? Some don't even know where my house is!

Yet, I go to movies, have dinner, play golf, and many other activities with these people just like I have known them forever. In many ways I know THESE people much better than I know any of the people who wished me well this day. This is because we share the bond of similar experience.

The bond of lying and cheating and stealing, and missing work, and SWEARING we would not lose more than $100.00 per day, and leaving money and credit cards at home only to drive several hours round trip to go back and get them and more. We share our compulsive gambler experiences! Nobody else can REALLY understand those feelings. I would not expect them to.

And yes, some of my closer friends in GA knew it was my birthday today, know my last name, and have been to my house. But I still do not consider any of the others less of a friend.

As for the birthday itself? Nothing exciting. I did a little reflecting on whether this is where I thought I would be in life at this age. The answer? NO. But, I am where I am supposed to be. I accept that now.

John

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