Thursday, June 2, 2005

Day 928 - E mails and Stories

Hello,

People come to visit this blog for many reasons.

Some of the visitors leave comments on posts. Today someone commented that he was "once" a compulsive gambler, but now he gambles and it does not control him. Good for him. That won't work for me, I KNOW. And it doesn't seem to be possible for most problem gamblers I run across, once they first make that admission that they are a gambling addict.

Other people e mail me directly. Some of these are quite moving. Here is one I got today (I have removed any parts that may give away anonymity:

I have been sitting here reading all of these stories on the Internet and you are the first one that caught my attention.

My story? My husband and I both work in the casinos and we have been together for about 5 years. We have 2 children, make great money (150,000+ yr), we have minimal bills, yet we are always in debt due to gambling.

We haven't lost our house or anything to make our lives uncomfortable however if we have extra money it goes to the casinos. We work until 500am and we stay awake to pick the kids up at 800am, so for 3 or more hours after work we really have nothing else to do (so we feel).

We hit the casinos, and drink up the cocktails that come every 5 min. Before we know it we have lost a few thousand dollars and now we are deciding who will drive home.

This is an everyday thing!

I am tired. I have no idea how to stop. We have tried to do other things after work like go to the gym, go bowling, or even come home, but that doesn't last long.

I'm tired of lying to my kids about why we are late and they have to miss school, I'm tired of seeing the money we make and have nothing to show for it.

She went on to ask me for any suggestions. First, I told her that in my experience this is a PROGRESSIVE addiction. Things I thought I would NEVER do, at some point in that progression seemed perfectly reasonable.

Next, I treated this like so many hotline calls I get here in San Diego. I suggested a meeting. I asked her...what can it hurt? Nobody forces you to stay, to say anything, to admit anything, or to come back; and it's free! I also reminded her that only each person can admit that they are a compulsive gambler...nobody else can decide for you. I told her how many of us find other activities of a social nature to do WITH EACH OTHER, such as picnics, golfing, parties etc...

Finally I closed the return e mail to her with..what else? A saying! One of my favorites:

"I would rather attend meetings and WONDER whether I am a compulsive gambler, then be out there proving it!"

Have a good night all.

John

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