Good morning all,
Just a quick post today. I have a busy weekend planned and am already running late. But I have been thinking a lot lately about a set of parents of a compulsive gambler that were at that Gamblers Anonymous meeting I attended Thursday night.
These parents were so emotional about the situation they found their youngest son in, even though with the help of the fellowship he has not placed a bet in over 100 days. Two things struck me about this situation though.
The father spoke and talked about how as a parent his first inclination was always to just "fix" everything for his children. He did not like to see them suffering, and if he could do something to relieve that pain, he did it! I understood completely. However, he went on to say that it didn't work. Soon after the immediate problems were fixed, his son went back to gambling and created even worse problems.
I have shared here often that as hard as it may be to watch, many times the absolute WORST thing a loved one of someone with a gambling addiction can do is pay the bills, give them money, or similar items. We, as problem gamblers MUST NOT HAVE ACCESS TO MONEY at first. See, somehow we convince ourselves that the only way to solve the problems we create, is to engage in the activity that caused them, GAMBLING!
The other part of what this father said was very uplifting and gave me hope for the compulsive gambler. He said that his son told him and his wife that he was attending Gamblers Anonymous meetings, and that he thought the parents should attend Gam-Anon meetings, just to see what they were like, since the parents, like many could not understand the thinking of compulsive gamblers. The father continued, saying "he told us to attend, even though he knew that might 'hurt' himself". What he meant by that is that Gam-Anon meetings help loved ones understand that bailing out the gambler only makes things worst most times. They did realize this, and the son is struggling in many ways today financially and still has thoughts of gambling.
But, the father, holding back tears as he spoke, said in the long run this is better for the entire family.
I agree.
Have a great holiday weekend everyone. I will still try and post news as I can.
John
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