Some Gamblers Anonymous meetings are more memorable than others.
Tonight I attended a combined meeting of GA and Gam-Anon . For those of you not yet aware, gam-anon is a program that offers those that have been affected by a compulsive gambler a place to go and be with others that have also been hurt. The program is tailored after Al-Anon, much as GA is tailored after AA.
The meetings of the two groups are often held at the same time and place, but in separate rooms. This allows for easier scheduling and traveling since most often it is husbands and wives that attend one or the other meeting. Tonight however, the two groups held a big meeting in the same room. We do this occasionally, especially on celebration days, as a way to keep the programs linked to each other. Today was the 12 year celebration for a dedicated Gam-Anon member, so the meetings took advantage. Over 30 people there tonight, about 1/2 from each program. On top of that we had a "returnee" woman gambler, with her husband tonight. As usual, time away from GA has not made the woman's life better.
Anyway, the reason this meeting stood out for me is because I don't often get to hear from those we hurt. My ex and the kids are gone. We talk, but mostly about business type things. Not much personal anymore. Tonight I heard once again from the parents, son, husband, and wives of compulsive gamblers. Some were there with the gambler tonight, others were there as there loved one was gambling tonight. The honesty, confusion, compassion, and understanding of these people is amazing. I am not sure at all if a loved one did to me, what I did to mine, that I would be around to care what happened to them.
A few tidbits:
From the mother- (tears flowing) - of a gambler with just over 100 days bet free but struggling "As long as you don't give up, we never will"
From the son of a gambler who had lost all of the family fortune - "At first I was just plain angry. Until I realized the true extent of the problem. Then I took a picture of my "fantasy dad", and buried it. Now I am closer to my "real dad" than I have ever been.
From the husband whose wife was gambling as we held the meeting - "She thinks she can stop on her own. Maybe she can. I finally had to learn that I cannot "fix" her.
It just seems that when we have these meetings together the true emotions can really get flowing.
I can't wait until the next time.
Good night all.
John
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