Online Gambling Addiction

My Online Gambling Addiction continues to cause me serious problems and my compulsion to gamble has once again spiralled out of control. Having stopped gambling for 127 days I relapsed during December 2013 and January 2014. Despite having self-excluded from many online gambling operators, they had no record of my request for indefinite self-exclusion, and I was able to create new accounts or

Gambling Addiction Recovery

As I write this gambling recovery blog post, I haven't gambled for 68 days! That in itself has been both an incredible journey and achievement! Admittedly I have come close to playing the little devil of a card game, poker and at times the urge to gamble has overwhelmed me, but I have chosen not to gamble.

Instead of playing poker and gambling my time and money away, I have:
Created my own luck

Stop Gambling Forever for Everyone!

Abstinence is the only viable treatment option or goal to recover from addiction.
Today marks a four-week abstinence.  It is my intention to stop gambling forever. Not just for me, but for everyone, including my family, friends, partner and future clients.

Five weeks ago I gambled more than £6,000 playing online poker, wiping out a single credit card in a couple of days. I have an even deeper

Gambling with Time

Spent hundreds of pounds on my gambling addiction by playing online poker over the past two days, that is on top of the tens of thousands of pounds I have lost since I started gambling.

This is the reality of being a compulsive gambling addict, completely addicted to poker. The reality is: so long as I gamble nothing positive will change in my life. I have won hundreds, but lost thousands, and

Resisting the urge to gamble despite obsessive gambling thoughts

Over the past week,  my gambling thoughts have been so excessive that they have interfered with my daily life. The good news is I have not succumbed to these thoughts.

There is a very fine line between gambling and not gambling which makes me feel very anxious and vulnerable. My brain is getting stuck on a particular thought e.g., "I don't have enough money" this thought morphs into a gambling

The dark path of a Poker Gambling Addict

At the end of March 2013 I will have reached an important milestone i.e. I have not gambled for three months. It has been hard to stop gambling, harder than I ever imagined. I absolutely love poker -- and therein lies the problem. My compulsion for poker can never be enough and in wake of that enlightenment, a game that I thoroughly enjoy, enough to say that I love it, also has the power to

Poker gambling addiction, the battle continues

I am still battling my gambling addiction. I am sick of it, really I am. I am sick of wasting my time, money and mind on this pretense. I cannot stop myself from playing poker -- but I must at least try, as the effort of trying is all I have. I do question whether I have the strength to get through this; I actually need a miracle but my gambling addiction is deep under my skin, I cannot see a way

End of a gambling addiction is where we begin

When we go through life, there are significant moments where what we knew and believed ends and therefore, it is in effect where we begin; not the entire book, just a chapter. It is hard at times to read and acknowledge who we were, how things have changed, and the challenges we face so that we can begin writing the next chapter but we have to otherwise it will be one long, pointless chapter.

Online Heads-Up Poker Strategy

Heads-up poker is one of the more difficult aspects of poker; it is a game of psychological warfare; mentally you need to be rock solid. I made a lot of money playing high stakes heads up a couple of years back only to lose it in other poker types e.g cash game 6+ I remember playing a $200 game only for my net connection to drop; only to get reconnected ten minutes later and went on to win the

Does a relapse make your addiction stronger or you stronger?

I relapsed. In fact, I relapsed twice in just one week! The world of poker consumed me so much that I also neglected to update my poker addiction diary. Despite these relapses and the pain that I feel I am now more than ever, determined to stop gambling for the rest of my life. I know just how difficult breaking free of an addiction will be, so I expect these words to be echoed time and time

Gambling Addiction and the infinite Relapse cycle

A gambling addiction innocently befriends you, you two become the best of friends, nothing can ever separate you, you insist that no ill word is directed at such splendor. You notice that no money effortlessly dissolves from your wallet or purse and even if you did, nothing is too much for your new friend. Your gambling addiction delicately erodes your sensible, rational thinking and your sick

Ram Dass on Attachment and Addiction (Transcript)

Because of the power of Ram Dass' words I have fully transcribed Ram Dass Attachment and Addiction video that I posted earlier.

"When we were born we come into the world, we come from being fully at home and feeling that release that comes. We have a little shadow of it when we come home at the end of the day (those of you that have a home) and put your feet up or relax or have a cup of tea

Ram Dass on Attachment & Addiction

Today at 15:30, I had made up my mind that as soon as the clock struck 17:30 I was going to gamble and play Poker. The perfect storm of stress, frustration, hurt, upset and confusion lead me to make this decision. I just wanted to feel good and the act of gambling would help alter my mood and get me to a feel good state quickly.

With only ten minutes to go before I could leave the office and

Moral Maze Addicted to Gambling

Imagine for a moment being trapped in a maze with no chance of escape; the concrete walls are fifty feet tall, the sky is a dark, smoky grey, and the rain pelts down so hard it scratches your skin. You hear the sound of your own beating heart and the pain from your bitten tongue proves this is not a nightmare. You walk in a direction that you believe will save you, yet the closer you get to exit

I never thought I would be a compulsive gambling addict

I never thought I would be a compulsive gambling addict especially an addict addicted to poker. Am I the only poker gambling addict in the world? No comments please, that is a rhetorical question!

As I successfully resisted my gambling urges for yet another day, I reflected and realised just how close to gambling I came. What stopped me from having a gamble was being mindful of my fleeting

The soul always knows what to do to heal itself...

"The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.
The Challenge is to silence the mind" -- Caroline Myss


Quieting the prevalent chatter and casting aside your thoughts requires a new and different way of thinking. Ironically that difference is to decrease the amount of thoughts that surge through your mind, even momentarily as these brief pauses will help you gain greater and deeper insight

Gambling Codependency / Coaddiction Relationships

Codependency (otherwise known as Coaddiction) revolves around the idea that a codependent individual is addicted to a person entangled in an addiction or multiple addictions.

As time has gone on, I have realised just how codependent my partner is. She was raised in a religious family, but her Father was addicted to nicotine and alcohol while her Mother who had no addictions just learned to '

Poker Gambling Nightmares

Some poker players have big poker dreams, but all poker players have bigger nightmares.

Even the most skillful, ahem, 'luckiest' poker players that win big are broke a few games later. Other poker players lose their partners and even 'professional' poker players comfortably sit on top of millions only for their accounts to reflect a negative balance years, months, weeks or even days later. For

How to avoid Poker Gambling losses

As stated in my poker gambling addiction blog yesterday, prior to my most recent gambling relapse I did manage to spend three months not gambling. However, each day without a bet felt like hell.

During my gambling recovery, I still thought of past hands, bad beats and bad play. Fleeting thoughts typically emerged while I was in the shower; trying to sleep or within dreams. When my mind was not

Poker, Mind the Relapse

I just got back from playing a poker tournament at a land based Casino in London. There were forty people playing poker of all ages and abilities, albeit mainly men and all this on a Monday evening! All the gamblers were clearly hopeful that they would get placed, as the winner was guaranteed £5,000. I played well, however; that was just not good enough. Poker is gambling, and while the poker